


i don't wanna hurt you but you live for the pain

by frappeniall



Series: you don't know how to love me when you're sober [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Clubbing, Drama, Drinking, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Laughter During Sex, Love, M/M, Series, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 15:14:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5210645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frappeniall/pseuds/frappeniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The date was May 15 and Louis was on a flight headed to New York. After the crazy year he's had, he's decided to move into the house with the boys. He told Liam that he'll just ignore Harry for the sake of the him and Niall. And after this summer, Louis never wants to see him again.</p><p>[louis decides to move in with the boys for the summer and realizes that he's in love with harry]</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't wanna hurt you but you live for the pain

**Author's Note:**

> this is the final part in the 'you don't know how to love me when you're sober' series, i hope you liked them 
> 
> [title is from shameless by the weeknd]

The date was May 15 and Louis was on a flight headed to New York. After the crazy year he's had, he's decided to move into the house with the boys. He told Liam that he'll just ignore Harry for the sake of the him and Niall. And after this summer, Louis never wants to see him again.

After that weekend, Louis went on a few dates with Jonah but ultimately decided to stay friends. Liam and Niall came to visit a few more times through the school year and they saw each other on holiday breaks.

Louis told Niall about what happened between him and Harry after Louis left the diner. Niall and Liam have been very supportive and have tried to help him on many occasions but Louis doesn't want help. He wants Harry. He can't help it. He wants to hate him so much but he's come to accept the fact that he's heads over heels from him. But he'll never admit that. In fact, Louis' plan to deal with it is to never interact with Harry again.

Louis looked out the plane window as the pilot said that they would be landing in a few minutes. Louis didn't know why he was going to spend the summer in that house. Liam and Niall told him multiple times that they would understand if he stayed somewhere else for the summer but he missed Harry so much that he needed to be near him again. Louis constantly looked at pictures of him on his phone so he didn't forget what he looked like.

When the plane landed, Louis grabbed his bag and put it on his back. He walked off the plane with his earbuds in. His music was so loud in his ears, he almost missed Liam and Niall waiting for him at baggage claim.

'Boys!' Louis ran up and hugged them.

Liam squeezed them tight, 'Lou! It's so good to see you again!'

They pulled apart and Louis went to grab his suitcases, 'Well, it's nice to see your ugly faces again, too!'

Niall and Liam helped him carry his suitcases out to the car. Niall opened the truck of his car, 'So how are you doing, Louis?'

'I'm okay.' Niall gave him a look. 'No, really, I'm okay!' Louis put his bags into the truck of Niall's car, 'I haven't been out drinking and partying as much and my grades are much better than I thought they'd be going into my last year.'

'Have you heard from Harry?'

Louis hasn't heard his name out loud in months; he was starting to think it wasn't real anymore. But of course, it still is. And it gets stranger each time he hears someone else say it aloud. It does get easier though.

'Not since November.' Louis closed the truck and got into the car.

The car ride to the house is loud and fun until Liam said Harry's name and Louis tensed up. It's been months since it happened, why can't Louis just let it go?

Louis just put his earbuds back in, put his head on the warm window and closed his eyes, letting the music take him over.

***

'We're doing same rooms, right?' Louis carried his bags into the house.

'Of course. Why wouldn't we?' Liam walked into the house behind Louis.

'Well, last year-' Louis opened the door to his room and a guy with jet black hair and tattoos all up his arms was sitting on his bed, unpacking a suitcase, 'Um, hello?'

'Hey!' The guy walked towards Louis, 'You must be either Liam or Niall, I'm Zayn.'

'Liam!' Louis shouted.

'What's wr-' Liam froze once he got to Louis and saw Zayn standing in the doorway with suitcases half unpacked in Louis' room, 'Who are you?'

'I'm Zayn, I'm Harry's friend.'

 _Harry's friend._ Louis remembered Harry mentioning him. He said that he would always go to his place when the boys thought he was getting laid.

The door to Harry's room opened slowly and Harry walked out, still as beautiful as Louis remembers him. 'Louis, I.. I didn't think you were coming this summer.'

'So instead of asking me if I was, you gave my room away?' Louis was visibly angry.

'I.. I don't know what to say. I.. I'm sorry.' Harry stammered.

'I'm sorry, too. I'll just leave.' Zayn spoke up.

'No, it's whatever.' Louis sighed, 'I'll just stay with my family this summer.' Louis started to walk away.

'No!' Harry stopped him, 'Louis, it's your room, I shouldn't have brought Zayn here.'

Zayn quickly threw his clothes back into his suitcases and apologized before he left. Liam went back to unpacking his own clothes and Louis went into his room and sat down on his bed. He laid back and sighed. He couldn't believe that Harry was gonna let someone else have his room.

There was a knock on the door, 'Louis, can I come in?' Harry's eyes shined brighter than Louis remembered.

'Sure, why not?' Louis sat up as Harry walked into his room and sat down next to him.

'Are you sure you wanna sit that close to me? You might end of having sex with me. And no one wants that!' Louis rolled his eyes.

'Your sarcastic side hasn't changed a bit.'

'What do you want, Harry?'

'I'm sorry about Zayn. I just didn't think you'd come back.. I'm glad you did, though.. I missed you.'

Louis didn't say anything; he just sat there in silence.

'Louis, listen..'

'No, Harry. I came to this house to have a great summer and I don't want to start it off listening to why you're so sorry, yet you haven't tried to contact me for 6 months.' Louis stood up, 'Now, if you would leave, I have a lot of unpacking to do.'

Harry left the room without saying a word. As soon as he shut the door, Louis fell back on his bed and rubbed his face.

***

'Lets get fucked up!' Niall ran into the club and disappeared in the crowd of dancing, sweaty bodies.

Harry's arm brushed against Louis' as they walked a few steps into the club and Louis tensed up.

Liam laughed at Niall. He put his arm around Louis and whispered in his ear, 'I won't leave you alone with Harry, I promise.'

'You're my hero.' Louis put his arm around Liam.

'Okay, boys, let's head to the bar!' Liam looked over at Harry.

The three of them headed over to the bar. Harry and Liam got beers and Louis took a few shots before he found the dance floor. Louis dances without hesitation. He felt good being tipsy again. After the boys visited for that weekend in November, Louis fell into a hole. He drank almost every day and night after that. He couldn't help it, he just wanted to forget. Every time he was sober, he thought about Harry and was tempted to call him. And he still thought about Harry when he was drunk but at least he could flirt with other guys and hook up in the bathroom and pretend Harry didn't exist.

When the new year started, Louis stopped drinking and partying. He would decline the offer every time one of his friends asked him to go out. He focused on his grades and even got a job to keep him busy. 

Louis felt someone cling to his back and put their hands on his hips.

'What are you doing dancing by yourself?' Louis didn't know the voice so he didn't answer him but the hands guided his hips to grind on him and Louis was too out of it to do anything but dance and enjoy. 

'You're so beautiful,' the hands start to explore all of Louis' body, 'and your body is so nice.'

'Get the fuck off of him.' Louis opened his eyes and Harry was stood in front of him.

The man left Louis but kept his hand on his hip, 'And why the fuck should I?'

Harry was pissed and he started to yell at this guy for putting his hands on Louis. Niall and Liam ran over, pulled Harry and Louis away and led them out of the club. Liam opened the door to a lit up back alley, where people normally go to smoke. Luckily, no one was out there.

'Louis, what the fuck were you doing with that guy?' Harry shook out of Liam's grip on his shoulder.

Louis stumbled a bit but Niall helped him stand up, 'I was dancing! I was having fun!'

'We're just gonna let you two handle this.' Niall said as he and Liam walked towards the door.

'You don't even know that guy!'

'Yes I do!'

'Oh yeah?' Harry's face turned red, 'What's his name?'

Louis looked over to Liam and Niall for help as they walked back into the club, 'Why does it matter? You don't want me so who cares if I dance with others guys?'

'Of course, I fucking want you, Louis! I've wanted you ever since I fucking met you! And I was a fucking idiot to leave without saying goodbye to you, last year! And I know that! I wake up every morning hating myself because of it!' Harry leaned against the wall, 'I was too scared to face you in the morning because I've wanted you for years and I thought you didn't feel the same. I'm selfish, Louis, okay? I know.'

'If you felt like this then why didn't you call me? You left me completely in the dark for two months.' Louis walked closer to Harry.

'I didn't think you felt the same so I ignored you. Then Niall told me that your were really upset so I didn't want to bother you.'

'That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard-'

Harry cut Louis off, 'I know, Louis! I know! I'm an idiot! I ruined our friendship and any chance of us ever having a relationship. I know I'm an idiot!' Harry got off the wall and walked over to Louis, 'But I just.. I want to apologize. I was stupid to leave without saying goodbye to you, Lou.' Harry put his hand on Louis' shoulder and traced down his arm until he was holding Louis' hand, 'I'm really sorry.'

Louis looked into Harry's green eyes before turning his head, 'No.. No! You don't get to torture me for a year and just think you can apologize and it'll be okay!' Louis pulled his hand away.

'Louis, please..'

'I had the worst year because every night I thought about you and how fucked up you left me.'

'Louis, just.. please just let me apologize-let me show you I'm sorry..' Harry tried to grab his hand again but Louis pulled away.

'Go fuck yourself, Harry.'

'I'm done. I'm done trying.' Harry turned to leave and opened the door, 'You're so fucking stubborn, Louis. You always have been and I guess you always will be.' Harry walked back into the club, slamming the door behind him and leaving Louis in silence in the dim alley.

When Louis woke up the next morning, his head didn't hurt like it normally would after a night of drinking. He got up out of his bed and walked to the bathroom, in only his boxers. Louis looked in the mirror and rubbed his face before he went into the hallway and saw Harry's door wide open. He walked over and stood in the doorway to see that all of his stuff was gone. Louis' heart dropped and he remembered how he felt last September when this happened for the first time. He can't believe that Harry left without saying goodbye again.

'Liam!' Louis ran out into the living room to see Harry sitting on one of the couches, 'I, uh, I thought you left.. again.'

'I didn't.. not yet, anyway.' Harry had suitcases, on the floor, next to him. 

'What?'

'I don't wanna ruin your summer so I'm gonna stay at Zayn's.'

Louis sat down next to Harry, 'No, Harry, I was messed up last night. I didn't mean to be such a jerk.'

'You were right though.' Harry stood up and Louis followed, 'I made your school year horrible and I don't wanna make your summer shitty, too.' Harry started to walk towards the door.

Louis walked towards Harry, 'Harry, wait!'

As soon as Harry turned around, Louis pushed him against the wall and kissed him. Harry was shocked but quickly put his arms around Louis and kissed him back. Harry pulled Louis closer to him as he slipped his tongue in his mouth. 

Louis moaned into Harry's mouth before he pulled away, 'I'm in love with you.'

Harry looked at him, wide eyed and mouth wet from Louis', 'I love you so fucking much, Louis.' Harry pulled Louis back in to kiss him again, 'Do you want to go to your room?'

'Race you there!' Louis ran off to his room and Harry followed him.

Harry locked the door behind them, walked up and pushed Louis back on the bed. Harry crawled onto Louis and straddled him while just looking at him; admiring him. After a few moments, Louis smiled and pulled Harry in, attaching their lips. Louis runs his hands through Harry's long hair. He could feel Harry smiling against his lips.

Louis pulled away, 'Don't you think it's a little unfair that I'm only in my boxers and you're completely dressed?' Louis played with the hem of his shirt.

Harry pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room then he stood up to take his basketball shorts off. Harry, left in only his boxers, straddled Louis again and started to kiss him. Harry flipped them over so Louis was on top. Harry's hands went to Louis' hips to guide him while he grinds down on Harry. Harry started to kiss Louis' neck and Louis moaned into Harry's shoulder.

'Just fuck me already.' Louis was already a bit out of breath.

'Anything for you, princess.' Harry just smiled and pulled his own boxers down. His hard cock hit his stomach as Louis gawked.

'Jesus. It's bigger than I remember.' Louis spit on it as he started to give him a few strokes, licking up his shaft every once in a while. Louis swirled his tongue around the head of his cock and licked at his slit. Louis felt Harry's body shake as his tongue moved around where his head met the shaft. 

'Oh, Louis.' Harry groaned and pushed Louis' head down slightly. 

Louis tried to get Harry's cock as deep in his throat as he could but, ultimately, he couldn't go that far and he pulled off. Harry rubbed his back for a second before flipping them over. Harry kissed Louis' cheeks, feeling the warmth of his skin on his lips. Harry put his fingers on Louis' lips and told him to make them wet. Louis sucked on Harry's fingers like his life depended on it. Harry pulled his fingers away and circled Louis' hole. Louis moaned at the cold feeling of Harry's fingers. Harry slowly pushed two fingers in.

Louis moaned as Harry's long fingers pushed in and searched for his prostate. Harry leaned over top of Louis and started to kiss him again. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and dug his nails into his back. Harry scissored his fingers to open Louis up. Louis shut his eyes, in a little bit of pain, considering he hasn't had sex since September.

'Are you ready?' Harry pulled away but stayed within a few inches of Louis' face.

Louis just smiled and nodded his head as he pulled away and grabbed a condom out of his drawer and handed it to Harry.

'You don't wanna waste time, do you?' Harry laughed a little as he took the condom and opened it. Louis watched as he, effortlessly, rolled it down his shaft.

Harry checked to make sure the condom was on right before getting on top of Louis again. Harry lined his cock up with his hole and kissed him as he pushed in.

When Harry was half way in, he felt how tense Louis was, 'What's wrong?' He stopped pushing in.

'It's been a while so it hurts.' Louis laughed a little.

'How long has it been?'

'I haven't had sex with anyone else so.. since September.'

'You haven't had sex with anyone else?' Harry looked into Louis' eyes.

'No, I haven't. Have you?' Louis braced himself for the worst.

'No, I haven't either. I'm just surprised. Niall told me you dated some guy for a while.'

'I did but we never did anything. He just.. He wasn't you.' Louis smiled

Harry smiled and kissed his forehead, 'You're so adorable.' He paused for a moment, 'Just tell me when to stop.'

Harry pushed in again and Louis just grinned through the stretch. Once Harry was all the way in, Louis told him to stop. Harry showered Louis in compliments and kisses as he caught his breath. 

'Okay, go.'

Harry, shakily, moaned as soon as he started to thrust in and out of Louis, 'Fuck, Louis. You're so tight.' Harry's eyelids fluttered.

Louis wasn't in complete pain anymore. He could still feel the stretch and burn but it added to the pleasure. Louis still stopped Harry every so often though.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck Harry!' Louis started to jack himself off.

Harry gripped Louis' shoulders and thrust into him. He had sweat dripping off of his forehead but he couldn't have looked more beautiful then he did in that moment. Louis looked up at him and realized how stubborn he was and how he had missed Harry so much this past year. Louis was taken out of his thoughts once Harry found his prostate. Louis cried out and started to shake.

'Harry!' Louis pumped his cock faster.

Harry hit his prostate head on, repeatedly, and Louis had tears forming in his eyes; it felt so good. Harry started to kiss Louis again, despite his moans. Harry gripped his shoulders tighter and thrust deep into Louis. He begged Harry to make him cum to the point of complete sobbing.

Harry was on the verge. He thrust deep and came as he hit Louis' prostate and didn't move as he felt Louis come all over their chests. Louis tried to catch his breath and Harry rubbed Louis' body softly to calm him down.

'Have I mentioned that I'm fucking in love with you?' Louis laid back, completely limp.

'Maybe once or twice.' Harry laughed as he kissed Louis.

Louis decided that he would actually hate it if he never saw Harry again. It only took him 9 months but everything is right in the world again. He has his Harry again and Harry has his Louis.

The date is May 16 and Louis is laying in bed with Harry, arguably, the love of his life. After the crazy year he's had, he's decided to let himself be happy again, without having to drink. He plans to make Niall and Liam want to throw up, later, with all the gross little details of his and Harry's little reunion. And after this summer, Louis never wants to be away from Harry again.


End file.
